Tags
Rape in India, Sexual assault, sexual oppression, sexual violence, Violence against women, Women in India
India’s is a rather strange story. There actually is no stereotype. It’s a mix of many controversies, diverse ironies, and innumerable stories and opposites at play. All simultaneously. Many intermingled.
On one hand we worship Gods and Goddesses, on the other we mistreat women. We appear to have immense reverence for cows and mothers, but something is incongruent there. We call the daughter-in-law as griha-lakshmi, but treat her worse than we treat animals. We objectify women and make them a non-entity at the same time.
I know there’s lot of generalization in those sweeping statements, but the dominant mindset is still the one of primitive (patriarchal) ways. The threshold towards the critical mass that shifts the perspective and mindset is yet to be reached. It’s getting there. Very slowly though. Too many victims. Defective and uneducated statesmanship. Corrupt and incompetent policing. Poor and destructive parenting. Boy child craze. The elderly Indians and their irrational deference to seniority. Pretty big army to fight against.
Pure accident led me to interact with some Hare Krishna (HK) people. During the course of the discussion that went from one topic to another, one of the senior HK followers remarked – “Women should always be under guidance and subjugation. Before marriage, the father owns her. After marriage, the husband owns her.”
It took me a moment to digest this newly gained information. I consider myself vastly read – both western and eastern literature including the works of Indian scriptures (vedas, upanishads, gita, etc). I have not come across this idea anywhere. Some parts of Manusmriti could be interpreted to support those views, but no one I know really reads Manusmriti anymore. Far less try to interpret it.
Once the shock subsided a little, I asked, “what happens in case the father/husband is no more?” Without batting an eyelid, as if the answers have been well rehearsed, he immediately shoots back without a moments delay or hesitation: “The brother takes over, younger or older.”
My next obvious question: “What if there is no brother in the family?” His reply is again as rapid as ever: “Next member in the kin – an uncle!”
Mind you – this senior HK guy with all his responses is a PhD in civil engineering. Turns out, he comes from one of the premier institutes in the country (one of the IITs).
On inquiring where he learned all these things, he proudly proclaims his “Guru Maharaj” who comes from a succession of unbroken link of teachers going right back to Krishna himself has taught him this!
I let him know that if he keeps up with these sick ideas and ideals, they just might be the very last in that unbroken-link of “great teachers.” He needs to update his knowledge and do a reality check. Get corrected himself and correct his “teacher” as well. If the “teacher” is incorrigible, he needs to be shunned, abandoned, and reported. They need to break away from this stupid, rigid hierarchy.
His other friends warn me that I am “committing an offense” by speaking against the senior members of the HK group!
That is just one anecdote. I’ve since had few other run-ins with other people in my extended family too that shared similar uncouth sentiments.
One of them is an aspiring politician in Delhi. He once remarked that the “Aurat Jaat” (that’s hindi for the woman caste – don’t ask me what it means), lacks intelligence and he does not listen to them. He is almost 50-yrs old. Has beaten his wife more than once – his wife confirmed, but defended that action!
Ironically, this same aspiring politician will lick the very floor that senior women politicians might tread – like SoGa, SDi, etc. He worships his Gods and Goddesses without any qualms. He sees no disparity in his actions and thoughts. After much debate and much effort on trying to make him even consider another perspective, I just had to drop it. Broke every relation with them and swore never to visit his house again even if I am in the vicinity.
I realized, most times, when we speak to others, when we blog our ideas and thoughts, when we tweet our views, the folks that agree with us don’t really need any further prodding. They continue to remain friends. Those that disagree, will not even think about it. They will continue to be what they are and turn your enemy.
Any possibility for fast-track transformation will need the lessons to be properly reinforced through the right channels – Bollywood movies, local commercials and advertisements that involve celebrities, and educational materials well presented and represented in schools. Media has a big, responsible role to play.
Unless there’s real change in the perspectives of such dysfunctional and extremist individuals, all we end up doing is putting band-aids when need of the hour is emergent surgery.